Saturday, January 10, 2009

Journey Starts: Speed Breakers All The Way!

Finally, the episode Satan himself would have been proud to script.

Roadies:Hell Down Under is finally upon us. The skies have darkened, the battle lines have been drawn and the warriors have been given a short spell of post apocalyptic trauma. Women and children cry for mercy as the ones who remain sane try to figure out the inferno that unfolded before their screens.

The journey is yet to start, but one can already feel the speed breakers along the way.

Episode in Review:
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The roadies all gathered around Manesar where they received their usual "tika" welcome . After some chit chat, they walked into their rooms, there were some oohs and aahs at the branded gifts lying for them and then they were quickly told to shift into party mode to mark the initial celebrations. Out came the make up boxes, and the memorable quotes.

Naumen: I could sense it, the girls were defininitely looking at me

Paulami : I was looking like Bipasha in that dress, all were telling me that.

Huhuhuhu...ROTFL..LMAO....moving on

The party was a pleasent affair on the whole. Devarshi brought out the Mimoh dance steps while Gurmeet turned on some body heat between Naumen and Sufi.

I really didnt need to see that :|

After the party was over, the Roadies got a scroll asking them to meet Ranvijay at the back. 49 seconds later we were treated to a set we are all to familiar with.

Night sky, dazzling bikes, a helmet marking the occasion. Voteouts!

And from that very moment, the equations got all screwed up.

Raghu walked in as the messanger of pure evil as he set about on his sadistic ways qucikly dividing the roadies into two groups of 10 each based on their deserving status. One group was declared safe, which was controversial to say the least-Roop and Samrat surely deserved it but the same cannot be said for characters like Devarshi and Paulami.

Vicky and Neha Kapoor on the unsafe group?Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat???

The Roadies are told only the chosen few will survive, and a task will decide their fate.

Raghu Analogy:-

1. Split up of groups would create friction. So those who survive the challenge would hate the ones who were safe from the beginning. Good for future controversies.

2. A mix of characters required to have a smooth journey. Paulami and Devarshi are entertainment assets- so a let off on the first task isnt a bad idea.

Taskmaster:
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Early next morning, the Roadies arrived for the task. Akshay Kumar smirked at them through a big screen previewing them about the task at hand. Ranvijay filled them in on the details.

The 10 unfortunate souls were to be spilt into two groups of five each-The Yellow and Green team. Each team had to cross an obstacle course to reach some Chandni Chowk paratha gali wala parathas. The team to win most parathas wins. Oh yes, no hands.. :P

And they had to do it with their arms and legs tied to each other.

The team that loses immediately goes home. Holy Shit- 5 gone already!!

Yellow team went first, hopping their way onto the course. And then the fall. And then more hops.

The climbing part was done quite well, but the real goof ups started during the descent.

Sufi seemed to be in too much of a hurry and tried to go down fast. The result, a frightning fall all the way down with bodies rolling down over each other like nine pins.

Thankfully, in true roadie spirit they rose up and were back to crawling in the mud finally reaching the parathas.

They gobbled up as many as they could before their time went out.

The Green Team seemed to have learnt quite a few lessons as they marched on well and climbed the net in perfect co ordination. While preparing to come down slowly, Vicky took a sudden spill and CRAASH!!-deja vu all over again.

Like their predecessaors, they rose up and crawled under the wires. The paratha stuffing process started in full swing as the dirt made for a really bad appetizer.

Ranvijay called time out with Vicky and Bhanu caught midway in french kissing a paratha.

The result came down to a close 19-21 with the Yellow team making the cut by eating 21 parathas.

Vicky, Bhanu , Sonia, Ankur and Neha are out. Vicky deserved a lot more. Neha gone ....NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO: ((

A new twist follows- one would exit from the Yellow team as well. ONE MORE?? O_O

Fights And Frights(Pre Voteout Conspiracies):
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It was time for some fun and games! A harmless truth and dare turned into snarls as Gurmeet displayed her intellect of a matchstick by turning against Roop over a simple answer. Roop kept her calm and handled the situation brilliantly as Gurmeet was suddenly the most hated person on the show.

Bobby wanted to show Gurmeet a thing or two while we saw Suzzane carefully trying to be with Gurmeet to avoid being voted out. Plotting on in full swing!

Naumen seemed to be in big trouble with all pre vote out talks related to voting him out.

Voteout:
----------
Those who thought Naumen was a goner came in for quite a rude shock as a firece rage of votes flew against Sufi and Bobby.

Finally, the last vote formed the deciding factor as apna muscleman left the show. Sufi Malhotra-eliminated.

Bobby and Gurmeet congtinued their tensions accusing each other. Tamanna seemed to be fuelling the fights. The trio would make for some interesting moments in the future.

Pledge Of The Week: Bobby threatening to show all those around her. Go girl!

The episode closed among mixed reactions in my mind.

The Good: Roop survives. And still looks like a million bucks. Wohoooo!!

The Bad: Six gone already, Vicky and Neha exit are major shockers.

The Ugly: Bruises all over and some really bad speed breakers early on in the journey.

Coming Week: The bikes hit the road. And Roadies have to really take a blow "down under".

Roadies:Behind The Scenes:
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The popular addition made Roadies all the more fun last year. The crew are back again with our favourites Nature Baba, Chotu and Debbie being the centre of focus. The episode raised quite a few laughs with Bumpy's somersault, the crew dancing over an early vote out and Raghu promising Bumpy some hard core action.
The segment ended on a sad note, as we learnt Raghu will no longer be a part of this journey. His presence out there added the soul to the show. Needless to say, we will miss him more than ever. :(

P.S. : On a closing note, I heard a female contrestant mention the show as Roadies 6.0 and not Roadies:Hell Down Under. We under the community would have got a warning. Is Webbie listening? :D

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Mumbai Masacre-A Fitting Finale To Some Chaotic Auditions

It really can't get any better.

The promo promised, the show delivered. Mumbai was the last pillar of the auditions so it stayed in focus for the entire journey so far. Last week, Roop made us proud by her par excellence performance and this time around Ashish from the community was in the hot seat. We will get to him later, but first a quick round-up

The priliminary auditions were held online and the shorlisted victims appeared for the GDs. It was its usual chaos and commotion, throwing up 12 participants out of which Ashish and Tejaswini were familiar to me.This one was gonna be an entertainer.

Truer words were never spoken. :P

PI time. The first to walk in is apna "macho" dude Sufi Malhotra.An aspiring actor, he seemed way too agressive to be normal. He had a good physique, so apna desi Tarzan was ready to carry off his pics everywhere.(He had met Raghu last year at Roadies auditions, and Rajeev at Splitsvilla auditions already with the same set of pics..but still :|)Neways, a scuffle over his portfolio turned into a mini combat as he rose up from his seat and approached the twins in an attempt to prove his point. BIG mistake. Three things happened almost simulatenously- he was pushed, Raghu started his swearing, and the guards escorted him out. Sufi was still panting and cursing as he exited the venue, and looked like the muscleman had taken a bit more than he could chew.

But he was back, more on that later.

Next in line was Suzanna Mukherjee, another stunner to the group of pretty faces this year(Not complaining ^_^).However, she had more to her than just her looks. Innocent, outspoken and charming, she was well versed in Ukranian and Russian and cursed the twins in multiple languages at the drop of a hat when asked.(Jaw dropsO_O).She was at ease throughout the interview and her confidence seemed to be rising. She was asked to dance, and what followed was the most entrhalling and finest dance performance ever in the history of Roadies. (Drool Tsunami O_#). The twins were visibly impressed and so were we.Selected!

My Rating: 3.5/5(Another livewire in the cards.Would be intersting how she manipulates the guys in order to get her way. In short, a true entertainer.)

Sunny was the next victim on hold. His form seemed sensible, so the twins went aggressive on him just to gauge his reactions. Sunny stuttered and stumbled through a boring interview as Rajeev brought out the laughs through his jokes. The twins laughed, Sunny babbled. I swtiched between smiling and yawning. Finally interview over.Sunny you are SO-NOT-FUNNY. The result was pretty obvious-not selected!

Our own community banda Ashish walked in next, claiming to have a two year preparation on his side.He spoke about how he saved and watched every audition clip to take tips, and his hard work was evident as he talked about postures and other criterias, citing examples from the Ayaz interview. This guy had done his homework! All was going according to plan, so Raghu decided to switch the plans. Suddenly there was some serious amount of manhandling(which included a chair being pulled from under him) and Ashish was too shocked to react. Raghu apologised for it later but i still find it a bit overboard. However, Ashish still stuck to his plan and kept it cool. He had a focus to impress the judges, as he went about his determination. The twins seemed confused at times, and frustrated during the rest. Ashish tried to pull out all the stops, including a card of missed opportunities and chances in life. Alas, he had already dealt in the wrong hand. I gave a sigh as the result unfolded-Not Selected!

ANOTHER SHOCK. Apna muscleman is back, sans the agression O_O

Yes, Sufi was back once more, in a more sober and tolerable form. After sending a despotic SMS to Rajeev that screamed "WTF" , he was back on the ropes once more, with another shot to live his fame and success. Gone were the snarls, the tiger had been tamed into a pussy cat. He seemed in the principal's office, as he mumbled and nodded to what the twins said. He also acted a bit and showed us his physique. Both were impressive, and this time he seemed tolerable compared to the last(When I wanted to douse him in kerosine and set him into flames >_<). He seemed to be faking his calm nature, but it worked for him. Selected.

My Rating: 2/5( Roadies has a hunk, nothing more. His physique is the only thing that screams hot" in him because his no-brainer mindset, a repulsive screen presence and wannabi-sh attitude go limp for him right at the start. He would have it rough out there!)

Finally the auditions were drawn to a close, as we had our 20 roadies.

And then came the BEST part of the evening, a sneak peek of the journey.

It was INSANE. We had the roadies go through the most outrageous of tasks as they bitched, swore and seemed to be under demonic possession beating the shit out of each other. (Pradeep kicked Devarshi as Poulomi was grounded to pulp by another roadie O_O).Twisted, maniacal and with a whole lot of jaw dropping scenarios, this is truly Hell Down Under this time around.

Akshay Kumar dons the badass cap this time. Couldn't get any better.

Don't forget to tune into the opening frenzy as the journey kickstarts next Saturday 7 pm.

It's my MTV.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Delhi Daredevils And The Community Moment( The Auditions Recollected)

Sometimes, excitement takes over logical reasoning.

SPOILER(Who Cares!!): The Community Has A Roadie- Roop Makes Us Proud!!!

Ok kiddies, take your seats this one is a bumpy ride.

After a rocking Chandigarh episode at its back, the Roadies Team moved to Delhi which has given us some of the most controversial, popular, confident and "masaladaar" roadies out there. Delhi represents madness, chaos and a burning desire to come out and call the shots. People would push themselves over the edge just for a chance to make the final cut.

Unfortunately, the madness crossed limits this time around :|

The huge line, the unchecked passion, every single thing screamed out trouble at its onset. As the mercury soared, so did tempers as small scuffles for places turned into mini riots. The security team tried its best but the situation turned ugly due to mob fury and the auditions were cancelled.

Rowdiness does not a roadie make :|

We have truly gone digital. Roadies Hell Down Under resorted to online auditions- the first ever in the history of Roadies.The potential victims were shortlisted and the auditions were rescheduled. After all, the Roadies spirit lives on through hell's own fire.

The GD sessions were a bore, excepting Raghu making a wannabe rioter(he threw stones at the venue during the riot earlier O_O) wet his pants. The shortlisting continued and we moved onto the PI sessions.

The first to enter was Noel John, the self confessed saint to save modern humanity. He had a problem with live in relationships, and their acceptance. Our self confessed Gyaanmaster G-9 raved about his followers and his wise intellect , but didnt hesitate to call a girl in a live in relationship a slut. When the twins used the funda on his girlfriend, he did the best thing possible- cry like a baby needing a daiper change. Obviously, not selected.

Next to arrive was Neha Kapoor. This bombshell had the right looks and attitude and backed it up with her confidence. She went as far as to question the integrity of the twins, all the while flashing her winning smile. She was the typical Delhi 'bitch', a title which she gracefully accepted. The twins tried to flutter her confidence, only to realise she was here to stay. Selected.

My Rating: 3.5/5 (Good looks and a winning smile, tasks might be doubtful for her but she would make for a spicy addition to the show)

Bobby Chopra walked in next ,and frankly didn't seem all that impressive. She admitted to be dumb and was focussed on the fact that since roadies is crazy and mad and popular, she would fit the bill. Frankly, she looked less energetic than a doormat.

And to my frustration, she made the cut. Selected!

My Rating: 2/5 (Sweet, dumb , confused chick. Enough said.)

Sandeep was the next victim on the cards and he seemed to be playing it right with his baby faced looks and pleasent smile. But when it came down to his own self belief, he surely consulted the wrong persons. He considered himself to be the best among all other roadies, and ended up bowing down to Chotu in a task. He also wrote volumes about self confidence and ability, which was promptly dispatched by the twins into the garbage.

But still he had a innocent charm around him which worked to his favour. Selected.

My Rating: 2.5/5 (He could be the "friend" to all, but unlikely to leave any major impact on the show)

Finally, it was time for the community moment.

Walked in Roop, the Roadies Battleground runner up, looking like a million bucks and flashing a smile of a winner. First impression says a lot and she seemed to have won the twins over right from the word go. They tried to girll her, but she smiled on as she specified her stance and her dreams. She spoke about dignity and showed her values as she refused to flirt with a co roadie for survival. She made all small towners proud, as the Patiala ka Rani breezed through her PI with an elitist demeneur that was sure to make anyone take notice of her bubbling confidence coupled with innocent simplicity. A complete anti-thesis to the silent Aniket, Roop was vibrant and precise about her goals and chalked out scenraios which she would use to survive, rejecting other proposals. She charmed, she impressed, and won over every single heart as the entire community prayed for her success. The result could not have been any more obvious-Selected!

My Rating: 4.5/5( A true roadie, with the mix of wit, charm and innocence, she is the face of the community on the show. A go getter and winner all the way, its obvious who will be my pick for this year's show. A story of dreams coming true-it just doesn't get any richer than this)

The last one to enter was Pradeep, who claimed to be representing the Sikh community on the show. He displayed the attitude and the josh that defined a Sardar, and smarlty aced his PI, as he made the twins admit the strength of his belief, and the spark of his attitude. Roadies has its first Sardar- Selected!

My Rating; 2.5/5 (Has the initial spunk, but lacks the confidence to come out of tricky situations and unfavourable circumstances)

Delhi saw the selection of five roadies, as Roop stood out among the rest being the community icon. Next week, the Roadies Hell Down Under team travel to their final venue Mumbai as another community oldie Ashish takes up the hot seat infront of the twins. And from the sneak peeks, we can only say it was anything but pleasent.

Catch up with the euphoria, and the torture, next Saturday at 7 pm.

It's my MTV.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Chandigarh Charms: The Audition Walk Through

After having haunting nightmares about the Bangalore episode(which included Gurmeet threatening me with a kissing booth) I sat down to catch the Chandigarh auditions with no pre conceived notions in my mind. Chandigarh had indeed given us some of our finest roadies in the history of the show, but considering the trend of selections this year, I refrained from having any expectations. And what a surprise, I was pleasently charmed.

The GDs were the same old chaos, won't bore you with the noise. Moving on.

The first guy walking into the PI session was Vivek , a self professed moralist who found the idea of condom vending machines in college uncool. When asked to elaborate, he rambled on aimlessly about perceptions and views but seemed to be clueless of what he himself was talking about. And his profound ignorance on sexual history(Dont know Kamasutra, havent heard of Freud) made me wonder if his sex-ed came from PassionIndia. com sites and Savita Bhabi comics. He also thinks college is a Vidyalaya (Not Vidya and Aliya >_<) and we should not engage in such indecent acts(O_O). The twins chargd upon him in full swing as he tried in vain to lecture about morals. His negative stand on homosexuality further worsened the situation. When finaly shown the door, the result was evident. Not Selected.

I actually felt like switching channels and watch hippos mate on Nat Geo for a moment :|

But then the doors of heaven opened up, as Natasha walked in (*drool quotient-warning levels*)
She looked beautiful, had the right attitude, was calm, positive, confident and a go getter. She remained frank about her views, considered herself better than the average female species ( I agree!Woot woot ^_^) and arm wrestled Raghu. She floored the twins with her persona and charisma, and the result was all too obvious. Selected!

My Rating :4.5/5 (The mixture of beauty brains and attitude. The best selection till now , she is not just fire, she is a gasoline tank waiting to scorch the show.)

Drooling on ...err..moving on.

The next in line was Neha, who was stuck up on her last guy and reduced to tears after 1.12 minutes. The rest was a slew of insanely hilarious non veg jokes from the twins in an attempt to cheer her up. Mood lightened, I was loving the audition more every moment.

Ankur, walking into the PI room looked to be giving all the wrong signals with his dishevelled appearance. His hand movement resembled Akshay Kumar in Chandni Chowk To China, and was equally irritating. His outlook on life was something however I could relate to( Warning: Droning lecture on self apathy to follow. Skip if you like).I could really feel his pain as he explained how things got the better of him at the last moment. Indeed, we seem to have a lot in common. Frustrated by life, pushed by parents to succeed, and deserted by friends, we were both lonely, with people leaving us with accuses and abuses. He wanted to prove himself in one forum, I wanted to go through one single day without slipping into depression(but that's another sad story). Overall, despite his comical mannerisms, he had a innocent and real story to tell, which touched me (and even the twins to an extent.) Honest and unabashed at his take on life, Ankur threw caution to the winds, but managed to set sail. Selected.!

Indeed , memories haunt you under the weirdest of disguises.

My Rating: UNRATED(Rating him would be like rating my own self, me being more darker and negative. Since I havent yet been able to do that, I won't do justice to Ankur and his fight against life by tagging him with a few numbers).

As if candidates wasnt enough, the next name even pushed the envelope further. Walked in Tamanna, as the focus soon shifted onto the screens because Tamanna was leaving no means out to make a complete mockery out of herself. Sporting a fake accent, and clueless about every single thing regarding herself, she was the figure of confusion in the episode. She found it convinently easy to cheat on 3 guys, but threatened to kill a person if he cheated on her( O_O And they said that females were delicate :| ). She spoke as if in a dream , and barely made connection between two things. The twins were amused and I was lost in my own thoughts when her offering to slap Rajeev caught my attention. Rajeev followed up with a ferocious Ghajini look as she herself walked out(LOL!!!). She surely made for the laughs in the show, but then in another controversial take, she was selected!

My Rating: 2/5 (She looks hot, but thats all the appeal about her. She would need to be another Shambhavi to survive the jungle out there. Could fizzle out very soon.)


The most out of the box contestant was surely Sonia, who pictured a mirror of values and modern principles. She engaged in a live in relationship, but was firm in her dislike of one night stands. She openly admitted of her short temper and her punching her boyfriend on account of insecurity(That must have hurt!>_<).She also sang a Mizo song which she learnt from her room mate and a Bhutani number. She was conidfent, firm on her views about issues and a potential livewire in the making. Her presence lit up the atmosphere of the auditions, and it was no surprise when she was called out to be selected.

My Rating : 3.5/5 (Charismatic and confident, she has it in her to go places and win people over. The short temper would only add to her value on the show. A bright prospect ^_^)

Four roadies made the cut in Chandigarh auditions as it made up for the Bangalore disasters. Roadies was back in terms of the excitment , and even with Tamanna's selection thrown in, this episode would surely be counted among the best this season.

Sorry for the lack of comical cynicism in this week's review. I was reminded of too many painful memories in my own sorry existance to joke about them.

Watch egos clash and windows smash next week, as the controversial Delhi auditions are aired. Tempers fly all over as madness overtakes judgement and creates a sense of panic in unheard proportions.

And people say auditions are a decent affair O_O

Tune in to the pulsating dose of insanity Next Saturday at 7 pm.

It's my MTV.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Bangalore: A Big Boooooreeee(Audition Reviewed)

Firstly, apologies for this insanely late review. Blame it on semester exams and electronic system design to screw up any sense of rational thinking, and any opportunity to catch the roadies auditions.

And imagine the horror of all the wait and the tension building up inside of me to finally catch the repeat and come face to face with an episode like this. :|

Ok, I am going to keep this short and simple before I am administered my nymphatamine dosage for overexposure to content that highlights crap with a captial C.

Now, the start was promising enough. Mix comic book feel with manga style animation, and you get a lively potrait of Bangalore's flavour . Move over Aamir's ferocious Ghajini look, Banagalore boasts of its glared Rajani look. Overall, the start was fresh and different and it got me hooked thinking a hardcore episode lay in store for me. 

Group Discussions are always about survival of the rowdiest and this was no different. Nature Baba tried to handle people in vain as the participants shouted and screamed to get their point across. The moderators listened, and then underwent a complex series of selection procedures (which involved ritualistic human sacrifices and Raghu being offered to the Devil ) to finally shortlist a few victims for the next day.

The PI is the most exciting part of the roadies auditions, and the one people observe most closely. When Chirag entered the room, I prepared myself for some real grilling sessions.

      2.46 minutes later, I was half asleep, vacantly staring at the screen. Chirag babbled on about some nonesense which I cared the least and considering he looked like a doped hyena , his presence didn't do much to light up my mood. The twins finally got him out as I realised it would be one long show.

Entered Gurmeet Kaur, the female talkathon. She claimed to have been called for an modelling assignment (Really?O_O Must be a PETA save the elephants campaign) on Orkut by model co ordinators who gave jobs to pretty girls (Huh! Orkut and model co ordinators!!! I must be joining all the wrong communities >_<).She talked about how she moved to Banagalore and subsequntly got cheated. However she found her own calling and also found a guy who loves her but is too afraid to tell!!(Note: Do not anger human bulldozers, its a health hazard)
                              She talked and talked as the twins literally fell asleep listening. They tried vain attempts at calling her an idiotic and scary soul as she proceeded with her lectures. With all defences down, the twins did the best they could, politely ask her to leave.

And then, to the surprise( and more the horror), she got selected.

My Rating: 1.5/5 (A true challenger to Varisha in terms of a motormouth. Otheriwse uninteresting, loud and irritating, my biggest concern is will she even fit on a single bike?)

Varun was the next guy to take the seat as the twins found him their perfect target. He promised to do 25 push ups, was asked to do 35, and stopped at 24 :| He seemed smart and confident, but with an air of superiority all around. However he kept impressing me as he refused to part with his girlfriend for the show or even disclose her number. The twins kept on with their abuses which seemed considerably hollow because Varun looked like a sensible choice among the jokers. After a long grilling session, and making him topless ( and constant quibbles at his girlfriend) Varun was told to await his twist of fate.

And again, in another howler of a decision, he was NOT SELECTED!!!

Suddenly the atmosphere pumped up as our own RBG champ Aniket walked in to claim his stakes in the show. Here was one person I had observed closely as I had been an avid fan and follower of RBG. He was a smooth talker which shortlisted him in the battleground GDs among lakhs of people (which is immensely difficult as I myself took part and could come only till the top 170) and he was an champion of tasks( getting 800 people to kiss his cow dunged face!!!). I was sure it would be an entertaining premise , and I wanted to see him get selected and make the community proud.

And then began.....nothing actually ! :|

Aniket seemed as if he was held at gunpoint by a horde of killer robots as she just sat through as if he was in a hostage situation from the moment he entered the room. Raghu insulted RBG down to the core, calling it "typing on the net" (Seriously Raghu? I wonder how far you would have gone :|)and telling people on Orkut are losers giving baasi dialogues (Yeah right! As if he held the patent to swear words for Roadies and ever actually meant anything he said!!)

And to my horror, Aniket just sat their like badly scripted movie on Greek statues as he did not even try to defend RBG's name or the intense battle he had to fight to come out on top. (Let Raghu get 800 kisses on a cow dunged face...or even 1 kiss on a normal face!!!) The twins ripped him to the core, and poor Aniket was left a mockery of his champion self as he stuttered and sturggled and was finally shown the door.

I sat their awestruck, wondering what exactly happened to Aniket on that day? He is still a champ for me, but not in the same way I viewed him before.


Finally, two twins tried to challange Raghu. Salman spoke the most while his brother kept quiet. Salman bragged about his successes while his brother remained silent. It was a boring affair and obviously Salman's brother Naumen got selected.

My Rating: 1/5(Err..speak..people have been blessed with a tongue!!!!)

Overall , a colossal disappointment. I literally slept through half the show to see the one decent contestant get rejected, a babbling pyschopath and a dumb manaquin get selected.

Oh yes, also watched my hopes on Aniket get shattered. All hopes pinned on Roop now..!!

You just might be in for a surprise ^_^

Watch Roadies Hell Down Under travel to Chandigarh this Saturday to select the true lions of Punjab and turn over a disappointing Bangalore affair.

I will be waiting and bringing the reviews in as soon as it happens!

It's my MTV.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

The Bong Sizzler: Kolkata Auditions Reviewed.

Ahmedabad saw some of the most insane characters and untamed passion ever seen in the history of Roadies auditions.

And Kolkata just made Ahemdabad look like a poetry reading seminar tonight. :P

The atmosphere was charged like dynamite from the very onset but what followed was a mix of untold catastrophic display of passion that no one could even have imagined. Roadies: Hell Down Under came in search Roadies who could make the cut, and what they got were thousands of untamed warriors prepared to launch themselves in the selection battle. The word "life" found a new definition at the audition venue as people screamed, pushed and brought the house down to catch a glimpse of Raghu, so much so, that the man himself had to push back to witness the wild flare unfolding before his eyes.

And all this happened even before the gates were thrown open. :D

The GDs were their usual riots, as Nature Baba, Debbie and even Ashish Patil( moments were being a boss sucks :D) were left banging their heads on the table in the search of potential shortlisted candidates. While people snarled over each other, Raghu literally turned the tables as he put Kiri and a fellow contestant on the hot seat asking them to moderate the GDs. Vicious to the core, the GD rounds blasted their way onto the wee hours of the night, forcing the crew to scrap the list and personally call in the shortlisted victims to the venue the next day.

And the judges did not even have a clue to the torture in store for them. ^_^

The camera panned in on nervous faces the next day, as all looked normal(yeah!great way to start horror flicks) and the first entry of the day was a bubbly young girl called Varisha who smiled and jumped her way into the seat.

And then it all started to happen.

She seemed to be living two lives each moment as every answer on her form and that which she gave at the moment seemed poles apart.She thought roadies was about guts but wanted to do it for fame. She related her boyfriend to her ex, but happily proclaimed every single guy firend of her to be a boyfriend. Either someone let her out of the nut house, or she received divine inspiration from Vidya Balan in Bhool Bhulaiya :P

Or perhaps she was reharsing for comical journalism. :D

She did need to go back to the books because while she talked about gays being mentally retarded , she did not know basic biology to relate it to the gene factor.

Compared to her, Sonel from last year just started looking like Stephen Hawking.

My Take: 2/5( A motormouth who could make that initial spark, but has every chance of running out of fuel all too soon).


As the twins recovered from the blast of Varisha's thoughts, walked in Kiri, the guy who had appeared at all five venues to audition last year and yet had not made it past the GD sessions. Yet this year, he had cracked it in the very first attempt. He seemed to be going strong until he slipped and talked about underperforming to survive. Raghu took him to the cleaners as he stumbled out of a very tight spot. Since then he was in his own world as he talked about being in rallys, body building competions and also demanded a state.
And if that was not enough, he took off his T-Shirt , balanced two suitcases with his hair , openly proclaimed himself as a dumbo and defined article 244 of the Indian Constitution.

The obvious result-Selected!

My Rating: 3.5/5 (Honest and real to the core, he is one bundle of entertainment who could just prove to be a dark horse-Anthony anyone?)

And his name reminded me of the famous dialogue in the Japanase horror film Odishion.

Kiri, Kiri, Kiriiiiii(and the guy has his eyes plucked out ) :p

But surely, the flavour of the night was none other than our own Bong bombshell Paulami De who made the twins speechless.Dressed up like a multicoloured parrot with a bad hair day who was despo to mate, her very appearance shouted out a "character" from every corner. She was 28(and still with a maturity below zero-_-)she floored the twins as she talked about having and loving three steady boyriends , her sense of fashion(inspired by Tushar Kapoor perhaps >_<) and how she wanted her man (not Harman you perverts -_-) to be

.And then she topped things off with her talks on a failed suicide attmept(O_O) and her dance which seemed like a ritual from a low budget cannibal holocaust movie.And she also believed she was under the effect of black magic by her friend(O______O) Loud, bizzare, weird, shocking and insane from every angle she would fit anywhere except Roadies.

But in another bizzare and controversial decision, she was selected.

My Rating: 4/5(Roadies?O_O Hahahahahah......huhuhuhuhu....hehehehehehe...hohoho...*chokes*...
*gags*...*splutters*...*dies*)

Three roadies were selected from Kolkata as the city served up some up of the most bizzare and entertaining oddballs to spice up the show.And there was also Tushar who cried coz his gf talked to guys on net(Whaaaaat??O_O) and Pragya who danced like a spastic crane and kick boxed Raghu :P. They were good, but the selected threee were enough to set fire to any show.

The city served up its warriors from the flaming pits as 7 chosen prey made the cut till now.And we are only two cities down!

Watch madness redefine itself as Roadies auditions set out torture victims at Bengaluru- next Saturday, 7 pm.

It's my MTV.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Roadies-Hell Down Under Auditions: Ahmedabad Torched!

Screaming crowds, wildfire insanity, the double trouble of Raghu and Rajiv , and a flaming bike in interval shots of the episode.

The devil has a new home-Roadies: Hell Down Under.

What promised to be one of the most intensely awaited season this year, just gave us a sneak peak into the entry gates of the dark side.

If the auditions are anything to go by, the journey will be a twisted tale of torture, served right up from Hell's own kitchen.

The GDs were chaotic to say the least and the untamed passion of the crowd overcame any sort of discipline which the MTV team tried to ensure.The crowd talked, bitched, swore and threatened through the entire process as the judges and moderators were left tearing their hair in despair in an attempt to select a chosen few from this wave of aggression. It was raw, it was crude and it was one nasty site.

The Roadies feel was back and kicking in through the adrenaline rush.

And that was just the start.

Day 2 of Ahmedabad auditions saw the dreaded form of maniacal humiliation, also known as the PI rounds.

Ayushmann took over the reigns of the audition from Ranvijay this time around and although the ladies drooled over him, he still has a long way to go before he gets close to the populaity and the entire persona which Ranvijay commands.

To make up, MTV served a double delight-in the form of Raghu and Rajiv.

Both looked identically menacing and moments after the interviews started, it was evident that Rajiv was several notches higher than Raghu when it came to destorying morales and confidences.His laugh, his jokes, a continous string of insults and mannerisms left the contestants visibly shaking as Raghu seemed gentle and quiet(if thats possible).

PIs have always been known for the oddballs it throws up and stepping up to the line of fire this time was Umang. A self confessed stud, he imagined himself to be god's gift to womankind , strutting around with five girlfriends at once, and adopting the use and throw policy.

His pre evolutionary ape like face, however did little justice to his claims.

Umang is a perfect example of what NOT to do when in a Roadies auditions. His proposed plan of friendship and "loveship"(Loveship?Seriously?Our community lingo has spread so far :P) and the technique of use and throw is perhaps the last thing anyone should be telling Raghu and Rajiv, or for that matter of fact anyone at all.

Raghu and Rajiv brought him down to the cleaners as expected, as they ripped him apart from his fake attitude and he sat shivering like a rheumatic grandmother.Finally when shown the door, he just sat in amazement probably wondering why he showed up in the first place.

The PI had other share of characters doing stuff to entertain the twins.My pick would be the guy/girl/Nature Baba dancing around wearing a raghu mask.

The laughter challenge shows need to take a clue for quality humour, and better contestants :D

However, it is the selections that matter in the auditions and when Samrat walked in, few expected him to score as heavily with the twins as he did. Confident and precise from the word go, he focussed his entire interview on the whip lashing dad syndrome and his rise above his father's belt(a.k.a Mithunda style). Thrown in a sobbing mom , and that makes for the next two weeks worth of episodes in an Ekta Kapoor saga.

While his past story seemed a copy from a B-grade bollywood script, his attitude however backed it up through his actions and achievements.An athelete to the core, he excelled in lawn tennis and swimming and backed his fitness claims up by being the chair himself, and doing 12 push ups with one hand. He sang as well( his voice sounded similar to a crow with larengitis) but his never say die attitude and the determined roadie spirit won over the twins.Selected!

My Rating: 3/5(Yawning backstory, amazing display of spirit and attitude)

The next selected Roadie was apna chota don Bhanu Pratap, the guy with the hairstyle resembling the leaning tower of Pisa. His high hair is apparently an attempt to make him look taller (the 5 ft 5 inch frame :P). He rattled on about what he could bring to the show. He spoke about his display of manhood on a christmas night(It must have indeed been a black christmas!) as the twins stripped him down, literally :p

There are bad boxers, worse boxers, and then Bhanu's polka dotted boxers. Enough said. :|

When he wasnt busy stripping down to his undies, Bhanu went on about his value to the show which nobody cared for .However the judges saw a spark in him and he made the cut. Selected!

My Rating: 1.5/5(Good spirit, but everything else seems lifted straight out of a Rajpal Yadav film :D)

As cameras panned in on a face stepping up for the interview stirred the memory of being a familiar face and the suspicions were soon confirmed.Stepped up Vicky, who had a not so pleasent experience in last year's PI as Raghu and Nikhil had shown him the door for being an introvert.
What was before us now, was a Vicky completely changed. Gone was the Vicky who dressed in formals and shied to tell about this virginity. The new Vicky, dressed in casuals adopted a casual approach as he seemed to give a damn about the world.The twins , although impressed, looked for a way to grill Vicky and found it through a certain answer in his form about cheating. We were back to heated insults and the furious Raghu stare(Yaaay!!Beats Aamir's Ghajini stare anyday :D ). But Vicky had the last laugh , during the full split as he overcame his physical shortcomings with his mental determination. The twins were visibly impressed, and so were we. Selected!

My Rating: 3/5 (Old wine served in a new bottle, but still packs a punch!)

The star of the show is unvelied at the last. This review is offcourse no exeption.

Ladies and gentlemen, raise up a toast for Mr. Devarshi Patel !

Dressed like the HR manager of CCD, Devarshi walked inside as if he was giving a job interview.
Bearing an uncanny resemblance to a spectacled Kung Fu Panda, Devarshi had a air of zen like calm in his face followed by his short laughs(Craaaaaaassssssssssssshhh!!There go down the sales figures of fat tummyed Laughing Buddhas!)He was jolly, he was fat and he couldn't do challenges to save his life, yet his claims kept on increasing.
He sang Rock On!(raped it to be precise :D), and even mimiced Amitabh in Sarkar( Statury warning: Please do not show the clip to Amitabh Bacchan in fear of suspected heart attack or cerebral stroke :| ) and he even provided the background score of Govinda in his own style( Last heard , the music composer had shot himself in the head while angry crowds chased Govinda the actor with pitchforks)Raghu and Rajeev rolled over each other in hysterical laughs while i literally fell off my couch clutching my stomach. Devarshi went on about how people would remember him in years to come( Obviously! He could train Paresh Rawal in comedy :D) and talked about how he formed the life of the group. (Eh!Group? The fat tummy is not considered as a seperate person :| ) and walked out smiling, head up high.

The audiences laughed, the catcalls rose and then the twins shocked us all with one of the most controversial decisons of the entire season that is bound to be analysed when the show gets over.

Devarshi Patel-Selected!!

My Take: 4/5(Hahahaha.. KRK could take lessons from him in being unintentionally funny! An oddball of its highest kind, whom you will find only at Roadies :P +1 for the Govinda ..buahahaha)

The Ahemedabad auditions left us with excitment , thrills and a whole lot of entertainment , not to mention 4 roadies who would fight it out.

It also gave us a sneak peak to the outrage , mayham and the unparalleled carnage that is Roadies : Hell Down Under.

Watch Satanism reach new heights next week as auditions travel to Kolkata.

Saturday 7 pm, only on MTV.